Trafalgar Square

Welcome to Trafalgar Square. It's a place in London where people like to stand around. The man above is demonstrating perfectly the Square's original intended purpose. 

Recently though, a lot of people have been deviating away from just "standing around" and have also begun taking photographs of the things that are in the Square. Like this thing:

No one is really sure exactly what it is. Most speculate that it's a giant egg timer. Most are idiots. 

Given the nation's new found interest in photography, I decided to go to Trafalgar Square myself and give it a go. Below are some of my photos from the day. I'm quite proud of them, and I think they display a certain level of panache. 

All in all, it was a fun day out. Photography is a fun hobby and I can see why people do it. I might take it up permanently. 

Bye

My Mobile & Me

The video underneath these words is 11 minutes long. Sorry about that. It's a video that I put together as part of a piece of University coursework. The course is a writing course and it's called "Digital Self" and we were asked to do a story which involved the topics we were talking about in class, which happened to be technology. Because I am quite interested in doing some performance based stuff, instead of just doing a written story I decided to put this video together and then perform it live in front of the class. The whole class didn't turn up. But I did perform it to about 8 people, and they laughed at parts of it and clapped at the end so now I am technically (and possibly legally) a performance ARTIST. The only problem is, I don't have the actual footage of myself performing it. So what I've done is just re-record the audio that I spoke in the performance and pasted it under the finished video. Anyway, the video contains music that doesn't belong to me and also has lots of footage of complete strangers, so I don't imagine it will be online for every long. Watch it while you can. Or don't, because the beauty of the internet is that it's up to you. 

My Mobile & Me

It gets a bit overly sentimental at the end and I struggled to round it off as well as I would have liked, but there it is. Can't change it now. Well, I can but I can't be bothered to.

I am currently writing something completely different to this, which I plan to perform in places that will have me. It will be about my life so far, and there-for be very self centred. I'm also aiming for it to be about an hour and a half long. You know, like a film. 

Photographing Strangers & Posing

Hello.

It's been a while hasn't it? I'm sorry that I haven't updated "Things with Tits On" but it seems there really aren't that many things to put tits on. There's probably about 7 or 8 things, and I've already done 5 of them. If I find the other 3 I'll let you know.

I have been spending most of my time writing a show. Ooh, get me! A show? How can I write a show? What kind of show? Well, when I saw "show" I mean it in it's loosest term. Basically, I am writing something that I intend at some point to take to a stage. I don't know what kind of stage. A wooden one probably, but I'll settle for other surfaces. Also, when I say "writing" what I mean is going out filming things, recording audio, taking photos of strangers and things of that nature, because the show in question will be a multimedia production. There are written bits too and I do intend to speak. Think Dave Gorman, minus the jokes but with an awkward tranny on stage instead of Dave Gorman. I'm sorry I'm not Dave Gorman!

The desire to do a show has mainly come about due to a little thing in my brain that keeps telling me to do a show. Also, I'm pretty used to being stared at by people I don't know, so what difference does it make if I'm on a stage? I don't know if it will pass as comedy. If you laugh, it's comedy. If you don't, it's high art and you just don't get it because you're a fucking idiot who likes Michael MacIntyre and all that yeah? You can off anyway, I'm late for an exhibition at the Southbank. (That last bit was a joke. See, maybe it won't be so bad after all)

I'm not under any delusions of grandeur. I don't have a fan base, and why should I? I don't even like me very much. But if people do show up, I will do the show. I might even get a pocket projector and do the entire show in randomised places in South London, like a travelling circus of depression. It would be free though, and I might bring a bag of broken biscuits just in case it goes tits up.

I also started a little picture blog today. I know I start something new almost every day and never get around to maintaining them (see "things with tits on blog") but I'm quite partial to this, so might carry it on. I am carrying on things with tits on though.

Anyway, click HERE

Thanks for reading all this rubbish and I hope you now have a better idea of what I've been up to. What do you mean "who?"? Me. You know... Me. ME. I'm pretty important...