B&Q

I have started making podcasts. Short podcasts that will be released at no particular time, but will be frequent. Here is the first one: 

If you have any interest at all in keeping up to date with them, you can either follow it on audioboo, or subscribe to it on itunes:

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pig-in-a-wig/id476942489?ign-mpt=uo%3D4

Alternatively, you can get it here too:

http://piginawig.podomatic.com/entry/2012-02-10T13_47_54-08_00

Bye then.

Every Time

Every time a bus driver stops needlessly to chat to another bus driver, a newborn baby dies...

...that may or may not be true, I can't honestly say that I know it for sure. What I do know though, is that when a bus driver stops needlessly to chat to another bus driver, I wish I was dead. Or at least in a coma or something. 

Because London buses as so interminably slow, I can often pass some of the time by taking photos of things that are around me. Sometimes I like to take photos out of the window....

...like this photo of a woman

You can probably deduce from her general blurriness that her body was moving in the opposite direction to my bus. Although, to be honest I can't remember if the bus was moving when I took this, so maybe she's a reptilian shape shifter.

 

In this photo, one man bends over as another man watches over him longingly. Of course, this could easily be taken out of context without any other knowledge of the situation. Although, the camera never lies does it?

I was going to think of more things to say about all the other photos I took today, but instead I'll just post them all underneath and you can think up your own amusing observations. You've seen Michael McIntyre, you should be able to figure it out by now:

And, pencils down. Please send your amusing captions to jennyyellowhat@gmail.com

Tree Baby

Many different things live in trees. Birds... leaves... carrier bags sometimes. I learnt this week though, that occasionally babies like to live in trees too

I imagine it was the only place it felt truly safe. Sometimes I wish I could live in a tree, then I remember that I actually have never been able to climb trees and find the very notion of living in a tree physically sickening. 

I found some more toilet cubicle art today

 This beautifully drawn piece can be located in one of the middle cubicles (I think the fourth along, that sounds like the kind of cubicle number I would probably pick) in the Greenwich Park women's toilets (just near the observatory) 

That's enough pictures for you today, you greedy sow. 

Mother Mary

I am sitting in an internet cafe in Brighton. tHE COMPUTER I'M SITTING AT HAS A BROKEN KEYBOARD WHERE THE CAPS LOCK KEY GETS STUCK OCCASIONALLY.

The computer I'm at also has a webcam on it. Here is some proof of that last statement

Other than that though, there isn't much more to say about it. I did find this photo in the "pictures" section on the hard drive though.

My Mobile & Me

The video underneath these words is 11 minutes long. Sorry about that. It's a video that I put together as part of a piece of University coursework. The course is a writing course and it's called "Digital Self" and we were asked to do a story which involved the topics we were talking about in class, which happened to be technology. Because I am quite interested in doing some performance based stuff, instead of just doing a written story I decided to put this video together and then perform it live in front of the class. The whole class didn't turn up. But I did perform it to about 8 people, and they laughed at parts of it and clapped at the end so now I am technically (and possibly legally) a performance ARTIST. The only problem is, I don't have the actual footage of myself performing it. So what I've done is just re-record the audio that I spoke in the performance and pasted it under the finished video. Anyway, the video contains music that doesn't belong to me and also has lots of footage of complete strangers, so I don't imagine it will be online for every long. Watch it while you can. Or don't, because the beauty of the internet is that it's up to you. 

My Mobile & Me

It gets a bit overly sentimental at the end and I struggled to round it off as well as I would have liked, but there it is. Can't change it now. Well, I can but I can't be bothered to.

I am currently writing something completely different to this, which I plan to perform in places that will have me. It will be about my life so far, and there-for be very self centred. I'm also aiming for it to be about an hour and a half long. You know, like a film. 

Hagar

This is the first panel of a "Hagar The Horrible" comic strip, written by Chris Browne. The Sun newspaper has these almost every day. In the panel, the wife character is informing Hagar that "Grandpa" wants him to bring back a bottle of aftershave. Exactly why, is unclear. Firstly, we're not informed whether he's the wife's father or Hagar's father. Secondly, why exactly he wants aftershave is hard to understand, seeing as he has a huge white beard which I can't imagine he has any intention of shaving. At this point, I don't hold out much hope of this narrative going anywhere, but let's keep on anyway...

...this is the second panel. There are no words in it, but it seems to demonstrate the grandpa whispering something to Hagar's wife. It's a pretty boring panel, so let's move on...

...in this, the final panel, the punchline is revealed. The answer to my original query of "why would he even need aftershave?" is answered, however it only creates more confusing questions. It is revealed that Grandpa also want's Hagar to kidnap a woman and bring her back from France against her will, so he can "pat" the aftershave on her. I really don't understand why he would want to pat aftershave on a French woman. Of all the sensual things you could pat onto somebody, aftershave doesn't strike me as the most desirable, especially if the poor kidnapped woman in question has any cuts on herself (which after a kidnap she probably would have) 

I don't like comic strips. I don't think I've ever read one I like. I had an idea today on how to improve them though...

...first, take a typical Sun reader's opinion letter...

...and then fill in the comic strip with these words of Keith Payne instead of the rubbish ones written by Chris Browne

and now it's hilarious 

Keep Looking

Trying to understand art is a constant struggle, but I'm nothing if not determined. Here is a video I made of me, trying to pretend to understand some art. 

Next week, sculpture