Unpopular Month

Twitter is shit. That's what I've managed to conclude after doing over 2000 tweets myself, so it might be a late observation but that doesn't make it any less accurate. Twitter was developed in 1997 by Sir Stephen Fry in order to help manage his many sexual partners from the years 1982 to 1998. Everyone else then just followed.

I think the best tweet I ever did was "I'm hungry" I'm proud of that one because it displays an honest feeling. I really was hungry. I went and had a peanut butter sandwich after I tweeted that. 

Over the past month I have been documenting the people who have unfollowed me. Here they are in a list

(1)

This is Jade Raad. "Trouble maker at channel 4" She followed me for a week or so, but then she unfollowed me. I'm not sure why. I remember following her back out of a pathetic need to be in contact with someone at channel 4. A quick google search of her name has shown me that she could be the Sponsorship Executive for the program "Misfits" on E4. I thought Misfits was shit anyway. 

(2)

This is Richard. He's 30 something years old. I can't remember if I ever spoke to him on Twitter, but when he unfollowed me I cried for hours and hours. I took his unfollow particularly to heart because of his beautiful smile. How could he do that? What a bastard. 

(3)

Ah Darren. "One Wife, two sons and I'm an Aston Villa fan for my sins" Sound like a cunt anyway. 

(4)

W.A Gibson has a quote from the film Raising Arizona on his twitter description. I do not miss him.

(5)

Burlesqueking only followed me for a few days. He has a girlfriend. I learnt this from his twitter page. We never had long enough to properly know each other. I'm presuming he followed me by accident. If not, he's playing games with my heart.

(6)

Auntipax. This one hurt. I have had brief communication with Pax. Re-tweets, @ back and forths. I must have said something to offend her. When I saw she had unfollowed me, I held my hand on my oven hob for 30 seconds to distract my mind from the pain in my heart. 

So, they were the people who unfollowed me this month. If you want to avoid ever being on this list, never follow me. If you do decide to follow me, then don't ever unfollow me. Tune in next month for more.