It costs £2.30 to ride a London Bus now if you don’t use an Oyster card. So why the fuck does this cheap piece of shit get to do whatever he fucking well wants?
Animals aren’t even allowed on the buses unless they’re guiding a blind person, and even then it’s not certain. This little prick doesn’t seem to be guiding any humans, so he does NOT belong.
But other people don’t care. Look at this woman, completely nonplussed that there’s a fucking free-loader right by her shoulder.
I mean, where the fuck is he going anyway? It’s not like he’s going home, he’s connected to it. He’s not visiting family is he? It was raining, so the likelihood is they’re all dead, under the shoes of business men and women, or decaying beside red elastic bands left by the postman, in puddles of bitter sorrow.
Actually, now that I think about it, that’s quite a horrible life really… This has put things into a different perspective for me. Perhaps he’s just trying to get away from it all. Aren’t we all entitled to that? If this snail has chosen to seek asylum via the 202 bus route from Crystal Palace towards Blackheath Standard, who am I to stop him? I would now even go so far as to say that he should be commemorated fOR his bravery, standing in the face of prejudice and working damned hard for his right to freedom.
I have now completely changed my mind on this poor, young, brave soul. If only more snails were like him. God bless him. I hope that when he gets to wherever it is he’s going to, he’ll be able to send for his family, before the cold boot of the postman obliterates them.
Actually I got off at the last stop, Blackheath, and the snail was still there. It had barely moved. As it was the last stop, the driver most likely would have seen him on his routine clean of the bus and would have probably just killed him with his fist.
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